Unqualified Beer Reviews

Beer Haul - Crooked Crab Brewing Co.

Crooked Crab dropped a porch box on me and I never had time to jump into their awesomely naked beers...

Hitchcoq - Düsseldorf, Germany

This is what life dreams are made of. 🥰 Chilling here in Düsseldorf with great friends, meeting new friends, and...

Heavy Seas - Double Cannon Double IPA

Hello, Atlanta! It’s stupid and rainy here, but I fortunately have the last Double Cannon from my pack to ease...

DuClaw - Spruce Willis Yippee Ki-Yay Mother#^@%*& Double IPA

Any “Die Hard”-themed beer is a friend of mine, especially when it’s full of throat-smacking pine balls. 🌲 Now that...

Heavy Seas - Joose Cannon: Key Lime Pie IPA

Leave it to Heavy Seas to porch bomb me with a weird-ass beer, and with (what looked like) a weird...

Heavy Seas - Joose Cannon: Mai Tai IPA

It looks like carrot juice BUT IT TASTED LIKE A POLY POLYNESIAN SWINGER PARTY WHERE ALL THE LUBE IS VEGAN!...

Farm To Mouth Large Tote Bag

Heavy Seas - World Famous Pilsner

There’s nothing like cracking a beer, and when your wife asks what it is, you just say CHICKEN. And then...

True Respite & Co. - What Maryland Does Double IPA

28 Breweries.Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid. Four swallows. In-fucking-sanity. Find this and put the entire state of Maryland in your hole....

Heavy Seas - Strawberry Shortcake Ale

This is a photo montage of me drinking a strawberry beer from Heavy Seas. I’m a pretty artistic guy, and...

Heavy Seas - Spectrology Sour Ale

Joel sent me this because he 100% did not want to drink (another?) one and certainly didn’t wanna fucking review...

Beer Haul - Louisville, Kentucky

Joel went on vacation. As soon as he returned, and as soon as I was anywhere for more than a...

Heavy Seas - Pawesome Sauce Double IPA

The Pawesome Sauce hazy double was better than I imagined. Super dank citrus and a...

Lil' Hop Dad Hat

Heavy Seas - World Famous Pilsner

Heavy Seas clucks in droppin’ dat Royal Farms World Famous Pils on my porch, too...

Heavy Seas - Pawsome Sauce Double IPA

SUPER PAWSOME SHOUTS TO HEAVY SEAS FOR PLAYING FETCH WITH A DOUBLE IPA THAT...

Heavy Seas - Spectrology Sour

HEAVY SEAS DROPPED A PORCH BOMB OF SOURS AND GLOW STICKS ON ME AND I COULD...

DuClaw - Thanks For Giving A Crap Sour Ale (Sour Me Unicorn Farts Pilot Batch)

This crap is brilliant. DuClaw Brewing, Squatty Potty, and CraftShack have teamed up with the...

Heavy Seas - Bottomless Bellini

Super shouts to Heavy Seas for the bellini-inspired porch bomb BOTTOMLESS, which is funny...

Heavy Seas - F*ck 2020 Stout

This beer came with an accompanying brownie, but anything in my house that’s wrapped in plastic...

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