Unqualified Beer Reviews

Phase Three - Cozy On Up Coffee Porter

I still stand by my feelings on not really digging porters. It’s mostly a mouthfeel thing. Alas, Phase Three knows...

Phase Three - Knock Knock Chocolate Peanut Butter Porter

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Pls let this be a better one, aye? If there’s one brewery that knows how to mess...

Monday Night - Overnight Celebrity Imperial Porter

I know I didn’t get shit-faced enough the night before, because nobody called me an overnight celebrity today, nor did...

Phase Three - Niu Porter

Do you like coconut? I like coconut. In fact, I LOVE coconut. Sometimes, I wear a coconut bikini top. Sometimes,...

Fox River Brewing Co. - Oshkosh, Wisconsin

Heyoooooo, Wisconsin’s own Fox River coming through with three fancy bottles for my unquestionably unfancy taste. There’s no doubt that...

MobCraft - Vanilla Wafer Porter

Vanilla wafer cookies are underrated tbh. 🍪 Vanilla wafer beers are something I cannot underrate because I’ve never had one....

Craft 'Til Death T-shirt

Foreign Exchange - Barrel-Aged Kittywampus Reserve Imperial Porter (FoBAB 2021)

Our second pandemic Christmas and a crithp BA Kittywampus Reserve while wearing sweatpants. If the perfect calm and deliciousness amid...

Beer Haul - Yorkville, Illinois

Holy shit. Ricky Hugeballs just porch-bombed me a life-changing box of life. COT. TAM. THIS IS SEX IN A BOX....

Wasatch - Nitro Polygamy Porter

I should have grabbed the non-nitro version of this. I just...don’t really like nitro unless it’s on draft...

Revolution & Half Acre - On & On: Part 1 Imperial Porter

This is the collab porter between two of my favorite breweries on the planet: Half Acre and Revolution...

3 Floyds - Alpha Klaus Porter

Alpha Klaus sits at the right hand of the father. The father is Celebration from Sierra Nevada...

Small Change - Night Windows Porter

I really liked this brew ha ha until I didn’t. I mean, when it was cold, it tasted rightfully balanced...

Crushin' Lagers Dad Hat

Small Change Brewing Co. - Somerville, Massachusetts

I always keep small change on me. I love paying exact change or having money for whatever...

Dougall's & De Molen - DouGall’s De Molen Coffee Porter

Say what you’re afraid to say. I could and should probably take my own advice...

Braukollektiv - Klaus Porter

Kinda weird to drink a winter porter named Klaus at this time of year. But, you know what else is...

FiftyFifty - Donner Party Porter

I should note that I’m not hugely into porters. After all, why drink a porter when you can...

Foreign Exchange - Kittywampus Imperial Porter

If you live in the Chicago area, you might have seen posts about the drop from Foreign Exchange for the...

Pipeworks - All The Golden Tickets Porter

Please sing these words to the melody of Justin Bieber’s “Sorry”: Is it too late now to take selfies?Sure, I’ve...

Wasted Days Snapback Hat