Sobriety is so borrrrrrrring. Drinking is fun!* Here we presenteth to your body the dad hat version of our "Not Drinking Sucks" design, for which we created our own typeface as an homage to one of our favorite styles from way way back in the 90s. Some of you probably weren't even born yet smh. If you know about this, you know. If you don't recognize this absolute flameballs magic, we're here to tell you that it's...flameballs magic. Includes our drink af Hopsmash text on the side. Available in blackout, lippy pink, pine balls green, and whiteout. Also, free U.S. shipping on orders over $120. Drank to the drunk dronk.

You may receive free stickers when you order something from our site. If you don't receive free stickers, we forgot to put one in. Order more shit next time, and hey, maybe you'll get a free sticker then.

Dad hats aren't just for dads. This one's got a low profile with an adjustable strap and curved visor. This product is made on demand, just for you, by our underage and unpaid offspring. They are sometimes rather lazy, so orders usually take 3-4 business days to ship.

• 100% chino cotton twill
• Unstructured, 6-panel, low-profile
• 6 embroidered eyelets
• 3 ⅛” (7.6 cm) crown
• Adjustable strap with antique buckle

* This butthole star is just here to relieve us of any feelings of guilt by telling you that you should dRiNK rESp0nsiBLy. Seriously though, don't cause any unnecessary trouble to your fellow humans.